Porcelain breaks easily

There was a lengthy article in the Free Press this morning about how Matt Stafford insists he's not injury prone. At length he talks about all the games he didn't miss in college or high school. Former teammates gush about his toughness. Jim Schwartz also deflects and denies accusations that Stafford is now, officially, injury prone.

Do they know what injury prone means? According to Schwartz, it means aggravating the same injury over and over. According to Stafford it means lacking toughness. According to everyone else in the world who isn't A) In Denial or B) The Injury Proned Person In Question, being "injury prone" implies that someone is injured on a consistent basis. Or, realistically speaking, it means you're Matt Stafford.

No one here questions his toughness, not after watching him get beat down play after play (last year's win against Cleveland, even against the Jets when you could tell he hurt his arm the first time and anti-Favred it [beginning to hold his arm, abruptly and quickly pretending to adjust pads, warm up, etc.]) . We know he wants to get out and play. We respect that. Everyone respects it. It's just that he can't.

Being injury prone isn't something he can help, it isn't something that can magically disappear. Dude's obviously got one of the best arms in the entire world, he's got moxie, he's got charisma, he's got a joy for football that ranks up there with Hines Ward. Unfortunately, he also has the clear distinction of being injured all the time. Looking down the barrel of a gun marked "Out for Season," Stafford will have missed more games than he's played in. By the time his third season starts he may have not even played the equivalent of one whole slate of games.

What is aggravating about this whole thing is that we, the fans, are angered because we were sold on him. The Lions organization and the kid's talent alone make us believe in him. Yet, it's a double-edged sword because we also believe he's the engine in the vehicle of this Lions team, and if he won't turn over then neither will the team. So much of the future of this organization depends on him, and the prospect of having to get another quarterback (distant and eerie as it may be) is heartbreaking; the Lions were supposed to be thisclose to being a legit team again, and that can't happen without a franchise quarterback.

I like Shaun Hill a lot. I think he is Staffordesque in most ways except arm strength and accuracy. I believe he can lead the team to a couple more wins this season. Yet he's got a broken arm. So now what? Drew Stanton? Ugh.

To inject some gallows humor into this situation, I've prepared a list based on the fact that the word "Cursed" is now more prevalent than "Snake-bitten" when describing the Detroit Lions. This list contains top QB's in the league, and what would happen to them if they helmed the Lions:

1) Peyton Manning - Manning lasts 6 games under center, wins 5, and in the fourth quarter of the 6th game, being up 35 to 7, Gosder Cherlius is forced back onto Manning's leg. Torn ACL. Done for season.

2) Tom Brady - Mr. Handsome sits out the first game with a strained groin. He plays the next 10 games, but in the 12th game of the season is assailed by slippery rogue tiles in the shower, and suffers a grade 2 concussion. Out for the season.

3) Drew Brees - After being sacked by Jared Allen, Brees gets up quickly, bowling over a referee. He re-injures his throwing arm, misses 8 games, and is ineffective when he returns.

4) Philip Rivers - Tired of losing after a 5 game skid, Rivers blows his top and tries to strangle Brandon Pettigrew. Suspended for the remaining 11 games.

5) Matt Schaub - Developing a tremendous rapport with Calvin Johnson after 4 games, Schaub drops back to heave a 60 yard bomb, but tears the ligaments in his ankle when he trips over his own feet, alone in the backfield. Out for the year.

6) Tony Romo - Breaks his throwing hand during preseason when he tries to play catch with Nate Burleson. Breaks arm when he tries to return around the 10th game after high-fiving Kevin Smith.

7) Ben Roethlisberger - Locks himself in his basement after blowing a lead for a third straight game. Decides to be a Call of Duty professional gamer. Out for season.

8) Joe Flacco - Back thrown out by trying to rush for a touchdown in a meaningless game. Misses four games. Comes back in Week Five, only to get hit by a bus.

9) Aaron Rodgers - Attacked by a polar bear.

10) Kyle Orton - Attacked by Matt Millen.

....please God no no no no no nononononononono

Well....okay.

So, upon further reflection, let me add this caveat to the previous post.

I'm assuming Stafford is going to be out for a while, because he's a dainty china doll. So, if Shaun Hill is playing in most of those games, well, I can see the Lions winning. They played hard for Hill.

If Drew Stanton starts any of those games? Oh lord. Brutal loss. Every time.

Boy, is he terrible.

Just...just awful.

I mean it, he makes Dan Orlovsky look like Erik Kramer.

He makes Rodney Peete look like Scott Mitchell.

He makes Daunte Culpepper look like Jon Kitna.

He makes Andre Ware look like Dave Krieg.

(okay, that's the last one. I promise)

.....I'm a liar and he makes Joey Harrington look like Mike McMahon.

Monday Hangover

Ugh. Even after trying to sleep off that loss, the bile still remains, sloshing around. Blech.

The Lions have been castigated in the Freep, Detroit News, MLive, and CBS so far, and Kevin Seifert's excellent NFC North blog managed to criticize the Lions amidst three pages worth of Vikings stories. What that means is both positive and negative: people are noticing the Lions.

I bet every Lions fan feels conflicted about the game yesterday. On one hand, they hung tough against one of the best teams in the NFL. On the other hand, they choked a win away. It's almost an internal battle of feeling appreciative and ungrateful, where we know we should be absolutely ecstatic about the Lions' performance but still we are angry about a loss. Has pure, unadulturated hope made us bitter?

It's funny when you think about it: two seasons removed from an 0-16 season, in the midst of a 100% roster upheaval and cultural overhaul, Lions fans are suddenly indignant with a supreme effort and marked improvement. I knew they probably wouldn't win this game, just as everyone else did the same. Sure, they blew a huge lead in a stupid way, but the positive of it all is that they really could have won that game. They are light years away from what they were, and that is exceedingly encouraging. They need probably another offseason on roster upgrades (linebacker and offensive line probably needs the most, the secondary turned out to be better than they thought. Unless Amukamara or Peterson is available. Oy. Probably a different post) and Schwartz needs to keep learning about coaching for success in the NFL (it seems like he's been learning how to not lose bad, and just how to coach period). I dunno. I think this should be seen as somewhat of a positive, and that if there's an NFL next season then the Lions could, actually and realistically, challenge for the NFC North. And that, my friend, is awesome.

NOW, schedule evaluation!

10	Sun, Nov 14	Buffalo Bills@ Buffalo (0-8)	1:00 pm EST
11	Sun, Nov 21	Dallas Cowboys@ Dallas (1-7)	1:00 pm EST
12	Thu, Nov 25	New England Patriotsvs New England (6-2)	12:30 pm EST
13	Sun, Dec 5	Chicago Bearsvs Chicago (5-3)	1:00 pm EST
14	Sun, Dec 12	Green Bay Packersvs Green Bay (6-3)	1:00 pm EST
15	Sun, Dec 19	Tampa Bay Buccaneers@ Tampa Bay (5-3)	1:00 pm EST
16	Sun, Dec 26	Miami Dolphins@ Miami (4-4)	1:00 pm EST
17	Sun, Jan 2	Minnesota Vikingsvs Minnesota (3-5)	1:00 pm EST

Okay, let's assume that this loss doesn't break the Lions, but instead pisses them off. I'm going to go ahead and assume also that Matt Stafford and his stupid injury-prone self will be missing the next few games, if not the rest of the season. So, where does that leave us?

Wk 10 @ Bills - I see this as a win, because they must feel that if they can't beat the Bills, then what good are they? They needs this as a moral victory, and although the Bills have been playing freakishly hard I think the Lions are going to punch them in the face. (3-6)

Wk 11 @ Cowboys - The Cowboys are playing some of the worst football in the league. They don't run the ball, Jon Kitna is their QB, and Wade Phillips is one of the worst coaches in the NFL. All the better if Jerry Jones freaks out and fires him. I think this could be a win, and two road wins in a row should get this team sufficiently pumped. (4-6)

Wk 12 Patriots - I make this pick angrily. VERY angrily. I think NE wins this game. HOWEVAH, coming off of two road wins and going into probably the biggest moral game of the season for them (Lions games ARE Thanksgiving games), I can envision an upset. Still, I'm going on record picking the bloody Patriots. (4-7)

Wk 13 Bears - The Lions have been looking forward to this since week one, man. I think this is a decisive win, and it really helps keep Detroit's head above water morally. (5-7)

Wk 14 Packers - Another revenge game. The Lions know they can win this, and it's at home, and they're pissed. Lions win, and they try to decapitate Aaron Rodgers. (6-7)

Wk 15 @ Buccaneers - I have to change my pick from earlier in the seaon. The Bucs are playing terrific football right now, and Josh Freeman has made a believer out of me. I have a buddy who is a Bucs fan, and he talks about the mega home field advantages of TB (Bucs' home jerseys are white, opponents go dark and play under a sweltering sun, etc.). I could envision an upset, but I don't want to actually pick it. (6-8)

Wk 16 @ Dolphins - I still think the Lions win this game. It is a pick without rhyme or reason. Especially if Matt Stafford decides to play this week. (7-8)

Wk 17 Vikings - Revenge game, and a nice way to close out the season. I also think Ndamukong Suh cripples Brett Favre. (8-8)

Wow, that's better than I initially thought, eh? Of course, I bet my prediction will be off by a win or two. However, 6-8 wins? For the Lions? After the last couple seasons? Cause for joy, mon frere.

BOO HOO HOO, I HURT MESELF AGAIN

Wow

Also worth noting is that Darrelle Revis is absolutely amazing.

He kept breaking up passes cleanly, with deft precision. I watched the game and I desperately wanted to scream that some of those plays deserved flags....but I couldn't. He was just that good. Against arguably the most talented wide receiver in the game (in terms of physical tools, I mean) he not only stood his ground but he absolutely SHUT HIM DOWN. It was masterful.

I didn't believe the hype until I actually saw him.

My gosh, he really is worth 15+ million dollars a year.

Probably the best defensive player in the game. Hands down.

there's a gypsy somewhere laughing.

Today's game was a metaphor. No, wait, no. It was symbolic of....it.....hmm. Let me try again.

Okay.

The game that was played today was three quarters and 13 minutes of great, gutsy football. The last two minutes was a dripping lizard abortion. The playcalling was alright, the execution as as painful as passing a necklace of kidney stones.

With 2 minutes left to play and a 20-17 lead, Drew Stanton's protection broke on a 3rd and 6. He scrambled right and, instead of sliding and taking the sack that would keep the clock running, he threw (HE THREW) a pathetic flick towards Jerome Felton. Which was dropped because it was an awful throw, a surprising throw. The clock stops, and a Jets offense with serious momentum gets the ball. They have no timeouts, but it's a play based on script that has been reused multiple times for the Lions: choking.

The Lions' mighty defensive line was held up by an absolutely terrific Jets offensive line. Then, a secondary that is merely okay, not good or even pretty good, is put on the spot. The linebackers are a joke and did nothing to help, all game (it is kind of funny, though: the higher paid and more well-known the linebacker, the worse he plays. Landon Johnson and Ashlee Palmer have been playing rather well, while Levy has been "meh" and Julian Peterson has been nothing short of embarassing). Of course the Jets will move the ball. Of course they will be put in a position to win.

Another cursed kick in the nuts was Matt Stafford again injuring himself. Does this person know how to take a hit? Does he know how to land correctly? I've had it with him - he's in the Crap Hut with DeAndre Levy and Stephen Peterman until he does something HUGE to win me back.

Probably the most insulting part of the game, the part that was spitefully cruel, was the injury to Jason Hanson. Hanson has been the last bastion of hope consistency and hope for a team mired in bad fortune, and to watch him crumple and be hurt enough to not come back in....it hurt the fans watching. And of course Nick Harris, a capable punter, turns out to be a horrific kicker. So who's going to come in and attempt the extra point? Ndamukong Suh. Dude's now officially played on offense and special teams (Fullback, Kicker...yeesh). Regretfully, he shanked the kick. It hit the goalpost, so it wasn't a completely terrible kick. However, that missed extra point could have made a WORLD of difference. Think about it: instead of Folk making the easy field goal to tie the game, the Jets would have to get the touchdown. That would mean a long, deep throw, with the defensive line playing like they are possessed. I would have given the odds to the Lions' D in that case, but it's a moot point.

They lost. This loss isn't like the earlier crappy losses, where they Lions seemed to be playing from behind the entire game. They had the lead. THEY LEAD THE THIRD BEST TEAM IN THE ENTIRE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, and they couldn't close. So, lessons to take from this game, in all its spiteful, angry, cruel embodiment:

1) Drew Stanton has been and always will be terrible. Dude's got chutzpah, but that doesn't get him any results. Ever. Shaun Hill was supposed to be the guy to bail them out when Stafford goes down, and he couldn't play. All Stanton had to do was run a clock-eating offense. And he failed miserably.

2) The linebackers are by far and away the weakest part of this team. I mean they are absolutely atrocious. Instead of looking at a Prince Amukamara or Patrick Peterson in the draft, maybe they should focus on a dominating outside linebacker. Or two or three, especially when they cut Julian Peterson.

3) Matt Stafford is injury-prone. He may be tougher than John Wayne's elbows, but that dude cannot stop being injured. If he wants to shake that label then he will have to play through pain. It also brings to light a point that some thought was no longer a factor: The offensive line needs more help. Still. A good line can open holes for Jahvid Best and Kevin Smith. A good line can block for their quarterback, can buy him that extra half second, can keep him upright. A good line won't get called for back-breaking asinine penalties.

In a weird sort of way, it was nice that the Lions lost this game. It was close and they played one of the best teams in the NFL doggedly. They went nose-to-nose with the best defense in the league and put up 20 points, including being the only team to score a touchdown against the Jets in the first quarter of a game. And now, after all the goodwill, all the hope, all the rampant, blind optimism, we can honestly complain about stupid decisions. Good teams make crappy decisions and their fans are completely at liberty to complain. We can now complain, and be angry that they didn't win instead of just being a-okay that they just hung in there.

We expect them to win now. And it is gloriously painful.

Underneath the larger fellow is David Carr. David Carr was pounded mercilessly during his tenure with the Texans. He was a talented first overall pick with a sorry offensive line. Matt Stafford stands a chance of being Carr v.2.0.

My blood just ran cold.

He eats people. Like, devours them.

There's been a lot of praise lavished on rookie Ndamukong Suh this year (deservedly so), in addition to the commendations for Kyle Vanden Bosch (what a motor on this guy, ehhhh?). The secondary has even been getting props lately, but there's one player on D who has absolutely been annihilating every matchup in every game.

Ladies and gentlemen, Corey Williams is a vicious cannibal who is eating offensive lines like fat kids beasting their birfday cakes. I've had the blessing/curse-like-AIDS of watching the Lions for about 15 years now (I watched games casually for the '93 and '94 seasons, but that was Barry Watching. I didn't really give a crap about the rest of the team. I also think I was more into the statistics than the actual game performance...meh. Flargh. Whatevs), and I've seen Robert Porcher, Luther Elliss, and Shaun Rogers play some stellar d-line. I've also had to watch the Williamses and John Randle from Minnesota, Gilbert Brown and Reggie White from Green Bay, and Corey Williams is playing at nearly as high a level as all them fellas.

Watching the games this season, especially focusing in on the line play, you can see the sheer power this guy has. Williams has a 27-yard INT return and a sack, but those don't tell half the story. The offensive lineman focus on him and Suh, trying desperately to corral this human avalanche, and it enables the ends to focus on one-on-one matchups. And God help the O-lineman who thinks he can take Williams in a solo showdown.

To be honest Suh, Vanden Bosch, Avril, or anyone else wouldn't be nearly as effective without Williams blowing holes and creating absurd mismatches. Mayhew absolutely robbed the Browns and solidified one of the top 3 defensive lines in the league. Look for amazing battles in the trenches this week against a Jets offensive line that is nearly impenetrable (they're making the corpse of LaDainian Tomlinson look spry for Pete's sake).

WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HIM WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE, COREY

Mossness

This whole Randy Moss debacle is nearing Favrian territory for the media's aggressive pursuit. Ugh. However, now that he's been claimed by the Titans, it gave me reason to hypothesize (read: to daydream at work) about Moss and the Lions.

First and foremost, which was validated by the actual events that occurred, there was absolutely NO way that Martin Mayhew was going to put in a claim for the troubled wide receiver. I'm tired of all the "Clubhouse Cancer" diatribes getting bandied about in most conversations about Moss; I understand the concept, but think it gets more credit than it deserves. I don't think Mayhew wanted Moss because it would disrupt the flow the offense is currently developing. Injecting Moss means that he would immediately become the Number 2 option in a pretty crowded corp, he would have to learn his third playbook of the season, and if the Lions were to lose more games closely, how would his craziness manifest? Would he demand Number 1-type attention?

Sure, he is somewhat familiar with OC Scott Linehan's offense, and I'm sure Nate Burleson would defer to Moss due to their prior relationship. Outside of that though, I don't know how much the other members of the offense would accept someone with a stigma like Randy, especially if he starts to disrupt the flow they have worked so hard to establish (aka Being the Highest Scoring Team in the NFC).

Then I got to thinking about Moss' history in the NFL. Whenever I think about the dude I'm always led back to that infamous moment when someone in the Lions front office decided that it would be better to appease Barry Sanders by drafting a diminutive cornerback who returns kicks (even though they had Glyn Milbyrn returning kicks. 'Member Glyn? He was good at special teams. Good at returning kicks.) at 2oth overall in the '98 draft. Moss went 21st. Consider the repercussions of this move: Moss comes into Minnesota and blows the doors off the NFL. Terry Fair comes to Detroit, returns two kicks, and is a mediocre corner at best. Barry Sanders, unable to stomach the utter mediocrity of the Detroit Lions one moment longer, retires after the '98 season.

This is where you need to allow yourself one moment to think about this - any more and you may want to kill yourself. Okay, ready?

How much longer would Barry had played if Randy Moss had impacted the Lions offense in even half as drastic a fashion as he did the Vikings? BLERRRRRGGGG! That starts the whole "what if" game, and this slope is slippery and vicious. Would Detroit have become a desirable place for quality free agents to play? How many more seasons would Emmitt Smith have had to play to even come close to the rushing record Barry would have established? How much longer would Herman Moore have been a top receiver in the league? .....okay, I have to stop now, it's making me feel nauceous. Ugh.

I love these pictures. They're reflective of my feelings towards the above hypotheticals.