Kidney punching

This has been an absolutely brutal stretch for the Detroit Lions. It seems like in the span of two weeks they've gone from having all the hope and momentum in the world to being beaten up, beaten down, and pessimism embodied.

Remember all my schedule fun? Well, I have no idea anymore. I have no faith in the running game (Kevin Smith's surprise thumb surgery hasn't helped). You can tell that poor Shaun Hill just isn't right (that guy is a trooper, though, which has endeared him to the fanbase), and even though local papers are saying that Stafford will try and play again this season I have trouble believing it - I just see him suiting up and getting injured a few play into the game.

There is just this nearly palpable feeling of negativity prevailing right now. What's even more ridiculous is that we KNOW this is part of the rebuilding process; when constructing this team from a negative value standpoint, it's common knowledge that it will take at least three years. After losing perpetually for years, shaking a stigma will take time. I think it's the seemingly immediate success of the Bucs, Rams, and Browns that is so irritating, and it just fuels jealousy so easily.

So, at this point, I don't know what to expect or even predict. I want to feel optimistic going into Sunday's game against the Cowboys, but I feel like even though the NFL is probably praying for a Lions' victory (the NFL seems to get off on absolute, complete parity; if any team can win at anytime, isn't that what they've been striving for?), Jon Kitna and Roy Williams will absolutely destroy any and all hope.

On a lighter note, did anyone read Jeff Pearlman's list of the 100 Worst players in NFL History? CC Brown did, saw he was number 90, and he flipped out. It's pretty funny, especially considering that he really is terrible.

this picture not only serves as the embodiment of Brown's time in NY, but also his entire career. I can't wait until he, Julius Peterson, and Bryant Johnson get cut and ride off into the sunset in a beaten down camry.

Porcelain breaks easily

There was a lengthy article in the Free Press this morning about how Matt Stafford insists he's not injury prone. At length he talks about all the games he didn't miss in college or high school. Former teammates gush about his toughness. Jim Schwartz also deflects and denies accusations that Stafford is now, officially, injury prone.

Do they know what injury prone means? According to Schwartz, it means aggravating the same injury over and over. According to Stafford it means lacking toughness. According to everyone else in the world who isn't A) In Denial or B) The Injury Proned Person In Question, being "injury prone" implies that someone is injured on a consistent basis. Or, realistically speaking, it means you're Matt Stafford.

No one here questions his toughness, not after watching him get beat down play after play (last year's win against Cleveland, even against the Jets when you could tell he hurt his arm the first time and anti-Favred it [beginning to hold his arm, abruptly and quickly pretending to adjust pads, warm up, etc.]) . We know he wants to get out and play. We respect that. Everyone respects it. It's just that he can't.

Being injury prone isn't something he can help, it isn't something that can magically disappear. Dude's obviously got one of the best arms in the entire world, he's got moxie, he's got charisma, he's got a joy for football that ranks up there with Hines Ward. Unfortunately, he also has the clear distinction of being injured all the time. Looking down the barrel of a gun marked "Out for Season," Stafford will have missed more games than he's played in. By the time his third season starts he may have not even played the equivalent of one whole slate of games.

What is aggravating about this whole thing is that we, the fans, are angered because we were sold on him. The Lions organization and the kid's talent alone make us believe in him. Yet, it's a double-edged sword because we also believe he's the engine in the vehicle of this Lions team, and if he won't turn over then neither will the team. So much of the future of this organization depends on him, and the prospect of having to get another quarterback (distant and eerie as it may be) is heartbreaking; the Lions were supposed to be thisclose to being a legit team again, and that can't happen without a franchise quarterback.

I like Shaun Hill a lot. I think he is Staffordesque in most ways except arm strength and accuracy. I believe he can lead the team to a couple more wins this season. Yet he's got a broken arm. So now what? Drew Stanton? Ugh.

To inject some gallows humor into this situation, I've prepared a list based on the fact that the word "Cursed" is now more prevalent than "Snake-bitten" when describing the Detroit Lions. This list contains top QB's in the league, and what would happen to them if they helmed the Lions:

1) Peyton Manning - Manning lasts 6 games under center, wins 5, and in the fourth quarter of the 6th game, being up 35 to 7, Gosder Cherlius is forced back onto Manning's leg. Torn ACL. Done for season.

2) Tom Brady - Mr. Handsome sits out the first game with a strained groin. He plays the next 10 games, but in the 12th game of the season is assailed by slippery rogue tiles in the shower, and suffers a grade 2 concussion. Out for the season.

3) Drew Brees - After being sacked by Jared Allen, Brees gets up quickly, bowling over a referee. He re-injures his throwing arm, misses 8 games, and is ineffective when he returns.

4) Philip Rivers - Tired of losing after a 5 game skid, Rivers blows his top and tries to strangle Brandon Pettigrew. Suspended for the remaining 11 games.

5) Matt Schaub - Developing a tremendous rapport with Calvin Johnson after 4 games, Schaub drops back to heave a 60 yard bomb, but tears the ligaments in his ankle when he trips over his own feet, alone in the backfield. Out for the year.

6) Tony Romo - Breaks his throwing hand during preseason when he tries to play catch with Nate Burleson. Breaks arm when he tries to return around the 10th game after high-fiving Kevin Smith.

7) Ben Roethlisberger - Locks himself in his basement after blowing a lead for a third straight game. Decides to be a Call of Duty professional gamer. Out for season.

8) Joe Flacco - Back thrown out by trying to rush for a touchdown in a meaningless game. Misses four games. Comes back in Week Five, only to get hit by a bus.

9) Aaron Rodgers - Attacked by a polar bear.

10) Kyle Orton - Attacked by Matt Millen.

....please God no no no no no nononononononono

No....calvin?

Oh. Oh dear.

Ugh.

Really?

Okay. Okay. So. Calvin Johnson's shoulder. I guess it was worse than I thought. This is really, really detrimental to the Lions' chances of winning (which is like saying not having a wind-surfing unicorn would be a slight loss to your neighbor's pool party). Criminy.

Things just keep falling apart for the Lions. Bad luck. Injuries. Crappy refereeing. At least they have a bye coming up, and, if there's any justice in this whole bloody universe, they come back healthy, hungry, and with a chance to rattle off several victories.

I still don't think Levy plays until Week 11.